I wish I felt like my response to my appointment with Tami Kent would do the experience justice.
I know that no matter what I say, I won't be able to fully explain what happened or how I feel now. But, because so many women are interested and because I feel like this is such an important topic, I'll make an attempt.
I made the trek up to NE Portland after dropping off the crazy toddler at a friend's house. Found a parking spot in a neighborhood off E Burnside (an accomplishment in and of itself) and made my way up the stairs of a turn of the century house. Located Tami's office as another woman was leaving. They hugged, chatted a moment and she left. I anxiously filled out my paperwork and we headed back to the private room.
Tami showed me a model of the pelvis, it's functions and what happens with healing and tearing, etc. She explained what she would do during the exam and reminded me that if at any point I wasn't comfortable, she'd stop.
It was dizzying. I wish I could remember all the things she said to me. In any other situation, at any other doctor office, I'd have been annoyed. But the energy in her space was radiant. And by space I don't mean just the physical space. But the energy she put out there was so positive and I just felt comfortable in her presence. I trusted a woman that I'd literally met ten minutes ago. Better yet, I was going to let her massage my vagina. How's that for trust?
{I'd like to make a side note that I've never been one to meditate or to have experience with energy medicine. But there are some people in this world that you just feel comfortable with. People that you feel the need to be close to them. You want to be their friend. To capture that energy. There is no mistaking that is how I felt yesterday with Tami.}
She motioned to the table, letting me know that she'd be back in a few minutes and we'd begin.
Way less stressful than getting a damn pap. I think anyone that performs a Pap needs a couple lessons in facilitating some calling energy. Ha.
She returned and started the exam/inter-vaginal massage.
She was feeling the four quadrants of my vagina, each while I did a kegels, over and OVER. She asked about tenderness and had me rate it. It's all relative until she hits a tender area and then you feel like kicking her in the face when she finds a super tender area.
After she took her notes, she noted that there was fascia that was tightened and that was part of the issue. There were also knots (really? Knots? In my VAGINA!?!) and that all could be worked out through what was similar to Cranial Sacral Therapy (CST) and some guided meditation. I was game. Anything for my vagina.
She began the massage. A massage that felt more like someone working out a knot in your back. That hurts so-bad-but...oh, wait...I-don't-want-to-kick-you-in-the-head-anymore...hurt.
As she was doing the 'massage' she talked me through a meditation of "walking around my pelvic bowl and sweeping out the emotional 'junk'" (I can't remember exactly what she called it, but junk is what I am going to name it for now.)
In my mind's eye I did that. All the bull shit. The stress. The weight of a baby. The tearing. The arguments over sex. The pain. The self consciousness. The feeling of inadequacy for my husband. The fear of another birth experience that resulted in tearing. I watched a tiny person use a snow shovel to throw it out. Gone.
While she was guiding and massaging I was really focusing my energy. First to my left ovary and next to my right. Then to the center.
Then something odd happened. I felt dizzy. Like throw up your lunch dizzy. I popped open my eyes in utter amazement. (And to not puke)
How the hell did she manage to make me dizzy through massaging my pelvic floor?
I kept my eyes open for the remainder of the massage to keep from feeling dizzy. She finished the massage by having me do kegels while she checked for tenderness and whatever else she was checking ;) she put pressure on the area that had the knot and was the most uncomfortable part for me. (Not so painful I couldn't handle it but painful enough) I couldn't believe that there was no pain where there previously had been!
Gone.
Completely gone.
She did, what I would imagine, was something similar to CST along my spine with tiny movements and I focused energy from my head down my spine to my pelvis working to realign it all.
Then, it was over. Faster than I could have imagined.
I got dressed and we chatted for a bit. She explained that fascia has a connection through our whole body which is where the dizziness came from, I'm assuming. Such a deep rooted issue. She said to have sex over the next few weeks a few times and if there was no pain that I didn't need to come back.
She said that sex is like a massage and what she did was a deep massage so it's helpful in and of itself.
We hugged, I thanked her a million times it felt like, and walked out of that old house onto East Burnside.
As I left I felt, different. Less tense. Open. Energized.
That things were right again.
I came home excited about how great I felt. I hadn't told Paul i was going because I didn't want to explain again why this was important just to be laughed at. Or justify the cost. Men.
I ended up telling him after. I needed him to listen to my story. To the energy I received. The healing.
I could tell he believed me but wasn't completely convinced.
Then I had a coughing fit from the Tapatio on my tacos. And for the first time in 15+ months, I didn't hold in my pee. Nothing happened.
He was still not convinced. Happy for me? Yes. But not convinced.
Until we had sex. And it didn't hurt.
I'll say that again. Sex did NOT hurt.
Tender? Yes. But just like when you get a massage and your back is tender. Nothing like the shooting pain I had been experiencing for over a year.
Four hours after I walked out of her office and I experienced the amazing results of healing.
Was it the massage? Was it the energy healing?
I think they go hand in hand. Without this emotional release on areas and focus on others, I'd be harboring things I don't need. And without releasing that tension, there was no way for me to release that emotional crap.
I wish I could explain what I felt like. What I FEEL like, right now, in this moment. These moments. Because if I knew how good I could feel, I never would have waited this long.
Save your pennies. Ditch that coffee from SBX or Dutch Bros. Put that shirt back on the rack. Save your money and go see Tami. Any woman can benefit from this experience, not jut women who had tears or vaginal births. You will not regret the safe place she creates and the gift to your body.
Much love.
{{I can not dream of the benefits that have yet to unfold. I am sure there will be another post about my vagina and the transformation it continues to go through}}
Wow! This is awesome, Brianna! So glad you went. :)
ReplyDeleteVery cool!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!!!
Yay! I am so happy for you. It makes me want to go just to makee sure there aren't any issues I'm ignoring. Thanks so much for sharing!!!
ReplyDeleteAwesome! You did a great job describing everything! I love the image of a little person using a snow shovel. Thank you for sharing your experience!
DeleteThank you again soo very much for sharing your experience...your part of your healing journey! Women healing Women!! We are moving forward. Thank you for trusting the Mystery=(mystory) and sharing it here for others to read, learn, and trust. :)
ReplyDeletePosts 1 & 2 made my vagina laugh, cry, and cringe. I didn't tear (Eliot was also 9lb 6oz, but he came out very slowly), but I swear to goddess that was what I was most scared of prior to giving birth. I'm so glad you're healing your hoo-haa and thank you for reminding me that nothing is too good for my vagina.
ReplyDelete