I've been wondering when kids start to understand the concept of "sometimes."
As I laid in bed last night after having given up on the "No more milk right now" fight from 2:45-4:00 I wanted to tell Jack,
"Honey, just SOMETIMES could you sleep most of the night? Could you just pick two times a night to nurse...SOMETIMES? "
I'm not against night nursing. We've done it for 17.5 months and a numb arm and crooked neck are about as normal as finding food stains on my clothes of food I didn't even eat.
This past week I've been so tired and nursing 5,678,356 times a night is not my idea of fun. It's definitely a contributing factor to my sleepiness. ;)
But in all honesty, I don't hate night nursing 85% of the time. The transition between stirring awake and back to sleep while Jack snuggles into me is what makes co-sleeping work magically for our family. It's that 15% of the time I wish "Sometimes" had meaning to my 17 month old.
I know these days are long (lately the nights longer) but during my {successful} attempt to put J down sans nursing to sleep, Bob Marley sang him our version of lullabies.
He crooned "Satisfy your soul." In that moment, with an almost asleep toddler resting his head on my chest, I realized that "sometimes" it's crucial to put your entire being into those 15% times. Taking a breath from deep within, from that mothering place in your womb and breathe out love and empathy over your child is a trillion times more successful and important than wishing my child would learn what "Sometimes" meant.
Because these are the things that satisfy my soul.
So much love.
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